..i walk with the Lord...
.......he is my love..........
.....my strength.......
......my life.......
....my best friend...

[NO TURNING BACK]

Friday, December 31, 2010

2011 Resolutions and Bucket List!!

So i have told myself that resolutions are never a good idea... because you almost NEVER end up keeping them, so why set them in the first place when they're just gonna make you feel pathetic for not completing them..
BUT..
This year will be a new story
(yes, i tell myself this every year, but I'M SERIOUS!)
And as for the bucket list... maybe bucket isn't right, because i don't plan on kicking the bucket this year...
Yes i understand that what ever God's plan is will be the ultimate plan,
however i'm hoping and praying this won't be my bucket kicking year!!
hence the reason for my 2011 bucket list..
things i want to do before this year kicks the bucket=]
Okay?
Okay..
Here Goes:)
Bucket List:20 because.. well... I'M 20 YEARS OLD!!!
1)My year in pictures~ i plan on taking a picture EVERY day to document my year in pictures.. lots of people write journals right? well i'm going to do a scrap book!!

2)Run a HALF-MARATHON in the 808 state!! in otherwords.. basically kill myself by attempting to run a half marathon in HAWAII!! March 20th is the date:)

3)Run a HALF-MARTHON in COLORADO!! Last year i did the 5k.. and lets just say i felt a little pathetic when i saw 15 year olds running the half..soooo.. I'm signed up for the Colorado Half-Marathon in Fort Collins on May 1st.. super stoked:) breaking 2 hours is my goal..wish me luck!

4)Fundraise all $10,101 for Youth With a Mission DTS!! I know that with God's help i will fundraise money for YWAM, but i was told by a guy to not be satisfied with fundraising say $9000...i have to go ALL the way, and God wants me to do this, so he will help..so pray for me to be able to succeed in this=]

5)Be able to run a 7 minute mile by summer..i believe this is most definitly an acheivable goal.. i can already do a little under an 8.. so who knows maybe i'll even try to push myself more and get it down to a 6 1/2 minute mile.. we'll see!!!

6)3.8 GPA this next semester at CSU.. I've been told it is VERY hard to get that kind of a GPA there, especiall now that i will be in my major classes and out of GenEds, but if other people can do it, so can i..

7)Go to Australia..SO STOKED!!!!

8)Lead atleast 1 person to know God:)

9)Learn to KNOW GOD MORE.. and then not just know him, but live out his will in my life. it is so easy to talk the talk, but i HAVE to walk the walk.. so many people are such hypocrites about this part of their lives.. if you say you love God, then you have to love all other people too.. Matthew 25:35-40 "35‘For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; 36naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ 37“Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? 38‘And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? 39‘When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ 40“The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’"

10)I WILL lose my love handles and little bit of pudge..lol.. i've been working on this for a long time, but i NEVER really put my all into it, this shall be a new year.. haha.. SUCCESS is in the near future i think:)

11)Go to Red Rocks.. i've lived in CO my WHOLE life and never been there.. so hopefully this year that will change:)

12)Explore Colorado..i live in one of the most beautiful places on earth, but i never find time to really go and see all the beauty, so this year i want to EXPLORE!!

13)Cook 10 NEW recipes a month.. can be breakfast, lunch, or dinner... but 10 new, random [hopefully] yummy recipes:) MMMMMMMM:P

14)Climb 2 14'ers before i head off to Australia this summer...i've only climed 3 i think.. and i live around TONS of them.. time to change this!

15)Build a HUGE snowman on the intermural fields.. friggin SWEET!!

16)Summit Pikes Peak.. in all my life of living 45 minutes from there, I HAVE NEVER BEEN UP IT!!!! how CRAZY is that.. Pikes Peak or bust!! woot woot:)

17)Start my training to do the Hawaii Ironman 70.3... hopefully next year!!

18)Ride a Zip-line, either in Colorado, Hawaii, or Australia..SO FUN!! i've always wanted to ride a long one through the trees, so hopefully this will be the year!

19)Get a job for the next semester of school.. i could really stand to make some extra money, and i have an interview on the 7th.. so we'll see!! God willing, i'll have a job!!!

20)Go up to Vail/Breck and ride the lift thingy that goes up to the top of the mountains.. i think it would be beautiful..

and now my Resolutions...
This year i WILL try to keep all my New Years Resolutions:)
1.NOT BE SOO GOSH DARN UP TIGHT:) i really struggle with this.. i HATE being late, i hate making plans and then people changing them 20 times.. but this year i am going to try to just go with it, and not get so worked up over it:) GOSH its gonna be hard though..

2.Seek God in everything. i like to plan everything out, but i know that God's plan will ultimatly be what will happen.. so time to start listening!

3.Along with the last, really give all aspects of my life to God..once again, its hard to deal with not knowing what my future will look like, BUT, God is so awesome... i really have nothing to worry about:)

4.Eat healthier..i will do really good for a while, and then just start munching all sorts of junk, so its time to get serious if i want to be healthy, run fast, and lose weight!

5. Strengthen some of the relationships in my life...these people will be with me for life, so i really need to put more effort into them:)

6. Last of all, i want to be happier..i let the dumbest little things get me down.. i don't want to talk bad about people, i don't want to stress about class, or life, i don't want to worry about tomorrow... like the bible says, tomorrow has enough worries of its own.. i want to be content with NOW.. and not always be worrying about TOMORROW.. live in the now, because today will never come again.

So that is hopefully what my new year will be looking like.. a litte happier, a little more adventurous, and just all around exciting!!! SO STOKED to see what 2011 brings:)

Monday, December 27, 2010

too.much.chocolate

So i am the type of person that LOVES to eat
Particularly good food and of course sweets
[thinking cookies, cake, pie, CHOCOLATE]
And so i didn't even think this was possible, but i have discovered, IT IS..

I HAVE HAD A FOOD OVERLOAD!!
In the past week i have had..
Spaghetti
Hamburgers
Pizza
Chocolate
Ham
Turkey Soup
Chips
Crackers
Steak
Chocolate
Cheese
More Meat
Rice
Lo Mein
Brownies
Cereal
Grapefruit
Breakfast Egg and sausage Casserole
Granola Bars
Chocolate
10 different kinds of cookies
Pie
Cake
Chocolate
Icecream
Icecream Pie
Chai Chai and more Chai
Hot Cocoa
Chocolate
Cheesy Potatoes
Salad
And i don't even know what else...
Not to mention it was multiple servings of all the above.. yes even chocolate
For christmas i got truffles, a 2 pound box of chocolates from my brother, more truffles, M&Ms, Chocolate Cookies, orange chocolate sticks, and yes hot cocoa.. just to name some of the chocolate..

I do believe that if i plan on running a 1/2 marathon in 3 months it is time to start getting serious and laying off some of this food.. or anyway all the sweets! lol..

Actually i need to lay off all the food for a little while, like i said, I've had a food overload, and my body is pretty mad at me right now..

SORRY BODY!!
I think i've eaten enough food to last an army 3 days..heehee..

I LOVE FOOD:)

A powerful L.O.V.E

God just never ceases to amaze...

I have some cousins that have lived in the same town as me our whole lives..
My cousin was my best friend for YEARS..
We played ball together, grew up together, graduated together,
And then she cut me off...
Her parents got divorced and she had it in her head that it was my families fault..
Her, along with all my cousins completely disowned us, i hadn't talked to them in over a year..
My best friend, and just like that, she wasn't in my life anymore.

But this Christmas something happened.
We had it all planned out that my aunt and her new husband [my cousins mom] and my cousins were all going to come out for Christmas dinner.. I WAS STOKED! i hadn't seen them in years..
But then they called and said they weren't coming..[we can all guess why not, they didn't want to be around my family because of rediculous false acusations]
I was so mad i started praying..
"God, really? How much more of this are you going to put us through? We used to be best friends and now they won't even acknowldedge us.. give us a break already! Please God, just soften their hearts to us?!"
I had been driving home when i prayed this....
As soon as i walked in the door, my aunt came up and said turns out, they were going to come out after all...
God??? Um, you're awesome?!?!!
But so then, i was like well great they're gonna come out and be all rude and grouchy because they don't want to be here...
"God thanks so much for bringing them, now please just help them to see us for who we are?"
They came, they stayed for a few hours, and they were some of the greatest hours we had spent together in YEARS...

On Christmas day, God heard my cry and answered my prayers..
What a great God i serve right?
He has begun healing a broken relationship and i'm so excited to see it pan out!!

And as my cousin was walking out the door, she suggested that next time we're both home for break, that maybe we should get together and get coffee:)

what a blessing:)
that just shows what some prayers, and a little love can do:)
BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!!

THE Story

Well Christmas 2010 is over...and boy was it GREAT!

Question....
WHAT IS THE VERY FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND WHEN YOU HEAR....C.H.R.I.S.T.M.A.S??

I guess for me there are about a billion things..
Christmas Trees
Lights
Decorations
Family
Food
Gifts
CHOCOLATE overload
ya know..the list goes on and on right?

Oh GOSH! i almost forgot CHRIST!
How pathetic of me!!
But wait...aren't those the things that come first on the majority of people's lists?
Sadly yes...
Walking around the mall, standing in line at a ski lift.. i have heard such sad things
People not knowing the real meaning of Christmas..
HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW??? I mean i could understand people questioning if Christmas really was when Jesus was born, or maybe not believing it, but not even knowing??? i didn't think that was possible in the US anyway..
The birth of Jesus was such a remarkable thing, and so many people don't even know the story..
the story of Mary, a virgin, getting pregnant..
The story of Mary and Joseph packing up and heading to Bethelehem...
The story of them not being able to find an inn, so Mary gave birth in a stall, with animals all around. Do you know how nasty barns are?? And she popped a baby out in one, but not just any baby, this was THE baby.
The story of the shepherds and angels and the star and the wisemen...
HOW CAN PEOPLE NOT KNOW??

I just enjoyed a beautiful Christmas, and it is all because of my wonderful Lord that came down to earth on Christmas eve, to take away our sins, our pain, to feel our hurt..

My pastor said something interesting....
People now days spend their whole lives trying to communicate with extraterrestrial beings...
[we can talk to God]
They spend their whole lives trying to get them to come to earth so we can talk to them and have them talk to us...
[Jesus came down, as a baby, he grew up in our world, felt our pain, saved our friends, and what did we do for him? ....We killed him..]

This loving man came to earth to SAVE us....
and....

.We Killed Him.

what a tragedy.

Another year..

Well I've got another year under my belt.. i am officially 20 years old!! WOW!
No more teenager...ever again:(
However, i must admit this was one gnarly year!
Left Concordia!! WOOTWOOT!
Worked my butt off this summer...
Went to tons of weddings..[wished one was mine, but now i'm accepting it]
Transferred to CSU--GO RAMS!!
Met some awesome girls..
and now i'm 20...
and in 361 days i'll be 21.. JEEPERS! lol
but overall, its been a fantastic 19th year of my life and i ended it kicking..
or skiing anyway:)
YAY FOR BEING 20!!!!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

It is complete

I would like to start this by saying...
.:*I HAVE COMPLETED MY FIRST SEMESTER AS A COLORADO STATE RAM*:.

wow.. what a feeling. this semester has had ups and downs,
but more ups than downs..
I have learned so much.
not from school(i must admit)
but from life.

Things i've learned....

1. That frozen yogurt is the BOMB
2. That it is fun to go to college sports when there are 6000 other people there acting like freaks
3. College is AWESOME!!
4. You can make it all the way to december without turning the heat on in your apartment.
5. It is possible to make it to halloween without SNOW! WHO KNEW?
6. There really are great girls out there:)
7. I miss my piano:( and dog:(
8. Living on my own is actually pretty great! but not without the wonderful brittany;)
9. Those HUGE pool parties you see in movies... ya they really do happen..bahaha
10. Ramtalk and word finding puzzles are the only reason to go to some classes
11. You don't need to go to class half the time because the test is a spitting image of the study guide in the book
12. Some people ask the DUMBEST questions i've ever heard.."why don't we just launch all our crap into space? then we don't have to worry about where to store it." really?
13. Free stuff is what makes the college life turn around
14. Craming is dumb...
15. Freshman point their i-clickers at the screen..lol
16. I have become a pro at parking.. angle and parallel!
17. The gym is a much better place to study than anywhere else..no the library is not that great of a place to study
18. Going to Concordia was in a way a complete waste of a year.. but i met BRITTANY!
19. CSU's football team sucks, but its still fun to go to games!
20. There are alot of gay people in the world! yes i'm from a small town..haha
21. Don't put cafe mexicali leftovers in the oven.. THEY WILL CATCH ON FIRE!
22. Red lights will forever be the death of my patience.
23. Apparently a yellow arrow, and no arrow at all means 5 more cars can go
24. Getting dressed cute for class is overrated after the 1st month..(k yes i did know this last year.. but for some reason some people here just can't figure it out!)
25. I LOVE living close to my family! SO GREAT!
26. Colorado has a place in my heart that can't be replaced
27. Dressing in tights is actually comfortable, and kinda cute, but it takes getting used to
28. Brown bagging it is great.. i've bought lunch 1 time!
29. Shopping for groceries is kinda hard:(
30. Trying to sneak 12 people through the continental breakfast line isn't very easy
31. Hanging out with the fro-yo girls just brightens my day..110%
32. Listening to slow music when studying really helps!
33. Sometimes its best to not say ANYTHING at all
34. If there is time for facebook, there is always time for working out, seeing friends, cleaning your room/apartment, and studying
35. Don't let class and homework get in the way of college.. bahaha
36. Box seats in the Coors box at nuggets games are AWESOME to put it lightly
37. Love with a heart like Gods..or try anyway
38. Look at people through the eyes God looks at us with
39. Listen to people the way God listens to us
40. Read your bible EVERY day.. it makes your day a billion times better!!!
41. Blogging is a good way to get things out that you can't talk about
42. There are alot of people in the world that need to see God's love
43. If we can reach college kids with the Love of Christ, we can reach the WHOLE world...
44. 12 PM is NOT late
45. Candles smell awesome, and are fun to take pictures of
46. Take 30 minutes to go take a picture of something that inspires you. your day will instantly pick up:)
47. Relationships aren't always easy, but alot of them are completely worth the small struggle here and there
48. Going home for break means...you do dishes, chores, clean house, and cook just like you did in high school.. some things NEVER change
49. I have an amazing, loving, caring family and I LOVE THEM ( i already knew this, but it has been reenforced)
50. By the time we get everything figured out that is wrong with me they would have to have 2 episodes of House based on my medical history!!
51. The people that live above me get it on about 5 times a week..and don't stop when i hit the ceiling with a beanie baby:( same with the people that live beside me:( jeepers
52. Textbooks are a waste of your money 1/2 of the time!!!
53. LISTS ARE WHAT HELP ME REMEMBER TO BREATHE..pretty much
54. I have been blessed with a beautiful, loving, strong roommate=] and i LOVE HER!
55. Sweatpants and slippers are my #1 choice of clothing 99% of the time
56. Calculus isn't that hard, but it is a waste of time!
57. I WILL NEVER EVER take another political science class.. that STINK!
58. Giving multiple speeches for speech class doesn't improve your speaking habits very much..
59. Computer science was one of the easiest A's ever.. and the biggest waste of my time!
60. State universities are actually really great!! PROUD TO BE A CSU RAM!
61. Chicken soup really does help make you better:)
62. Accomplishing something that you didn't think was possible is AWESOME!
63. I have the most handsome, real, loving boyfriend on earth..
64. Patience is a JOKE.. anyway in my vocabulary it is.. psh patience.. a virtue??
65. Forever 21 is great! cheap and cute:)
66. God made this world simply for our enjoyment.. we better start appreciating it!
67. Being a hair model isn't always bad! sometimes you can get a cute haircut for cheap!
68. Flobots concerts are pretty crazy..
69. God puts people in your life for a reason.. try to figure out why
70. Outpost has forever changed my life
71. I can't survive without my nalgene.. it goes everywhere with me
72. Making your own dinners is such a hassle sometimes!
73. Keeping your apartment clean, particularly the bathroom and kitchen is such a drag!
74. Not having a dryer vent makes drying clothes a whole new experience
75. My roommate makes awesome christmas wreathes!!
76. Notehall is actually a pretty great way to make some money..Hello $20!
77. Typing notes is so much easier than writing them!
78. You can only forget your ID 4 times to get into the rec center
79. We have the 5th nicest college rec center in the nation!
80. CU is full of dirty hippies.. just sayin
81. Hand sanitizer is SO cool! and smells good:)
82. When i say i'm going to bed at 12... it usually means 1:30 AM...or in this case even later..teehee
83. I can clean my bedroom 3 times a day and its still covered in clothes and books when i go to bed that night
84. Finals week is great cuz you get all sorts of goodie bags with food in them.. particularly Ramen.. anybody need ramen?
85. Bikers will be the death of themselves if they don't watch out for my car!
86. If you left your Student ID in your car and you need it for your next class which is optional.. just skip the class. by the time you get to your car and back you will have missed 3/4 of the class
87. Walking across campus is what is keeping me skinny
88. Taking a final that consists of 150 questions will make you be COMPLETELY brain dead afterwards..
89. They let too many kids into classes, because not everyone fit in the room for one of the finals.. oops!
90. Niquil is a great way to help fall asleep fast.. yes i took it because i was sick.. and ONLY because of that:)
91. I am beautiful in God's eyes and that is all that matters!
92. God made us PERFECT in his eyes.. who are we to question that?
93. YWAM WILL BE LEGIT!!
94. Romans 11: No matter how far we fall, God still loves us and takes us under his wing. He forgives us and saves us.!! WHAT GREAT NEWS!
95. Romans 14:8 "If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord."
96. If i want something i have to put my WHOLE HEART into it, not just part..
97. Apple Cider and Chai are my FAVORITE!
98. Photoshoots with Britt are SO FUN!
99. Coming up with 100 things i've learned isn't that hard.. WOW

and last but not least

100. The final thing i really learned alot about this semester was God's plan for my life. I have always been the type of person that likes to know exactly what i'm going to be doing ever moment of every day, and God has showed me whats up... It isn't up to me.. in Matthew 6:34 it says not to worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.. and this is so true.. God has planned our whole life out before we were even born! There is no point it trying to figure out what God's plan is for me because just as i think i have it all figured out, he up and throws a curve ball in! It isn't my place to tell God how i'm going to live my life, he will tell me, and this semester i have learned to really trust that God has a reason for everything.. All the crazy stuff that happens is just a small part of his HUGE plan for my life. So from this semester on, i won't plan.. i'll let God do the planning.. thats how its going to happen anyway, so why waste my time?

God bless, and i hope you all have learning experiences like i did this semester.. because they truely are such eye openers! I can't even imagine how the next semesters, days, months, and years of my life will be!! YAY God for being in control:)

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Love that hurts

You know that feeling when you love someone so much it hurts?
Well thats how i feel right now.
Sometimes when you love someone, but something is bothering you and you just can't figure out what it is, it hurts .
I love this guy.. but right now it hurts.
I can't put my finger on it, i can't tell you why.
We're so close all the time, but sometimes it feels like we are so far apart.

why is it so hard to give him up,
this doesn't sound like something i should be struggling with after 4 years..
but i am.
I struggle with sharing him,
i struggle with being jealous,
i struggle with the fear of losing him.

I pray about this constantly but i feel like i never get an answer.
I pray for patience,
i pray for love like God's love,
but sometimes its hard, ya know?

but i'll keep waiting..
waiting for the day when we can live our lives together,
waiting for the day we can travel the world,
waiting for the day he'll be all mine..

and untill then, it may hurt, but real love hurts sometimes.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

December 8, 2010

Do you ever have one of those days that you just can't help but smile?
Everything just makes you SO friggin happy!
You just feel this happiness and nobody can make you mad.
You feel like you don't have a fear in the world.
You feel great.
You look great.
You sing to random songs you hear..
You cook yummy food.
You don't mind waking up.
You don't mind sitting in class and listening to people asking dumb questions.
You don't mind sitting in rush hour traffic.
You don't mind standing in line.
Nobody can push your buttons.
Even the clouds don't make your day feel blue.

Well today is not one of those days for me....finals are getting to me:(
YAY for finals goodie bags though:)

Saturday, December 4, 2010

eat.pray.love

Today i was having kind of a long day..
[couldn't find a reason to be happy]

Then Brittany showed up with a Peppermint Mocha and 2 movies:)
She just knows how to make my me happy<3
The movies she showed up with were Eat Pray Love and Twilight..
So we popped in Eat Pray Love..
Not really sure what to expect, this movie made my heart light.

Eat...the first place she goes is to Italy where she learns to eat w/o worry..

This movie made me really kind of think about stuff..
How often we crave icecream or pizza or soda and say no because we are worried about a jean size.
What is a jean size?
I can wear jeans from one place and they are an 8, or another place they are a 4..
We so often try to make ourselves be someone that people will look at and say "wow i wish i was that person, they are so skinny and pretty." But really, are we happy trying to be perfect to someone else. Why not be perfect for God?
I will now eat what i want.. (in moderation)and be HAPPY!!!

Pray....the next place she went was India where she learned to pray and move on..

So often i lay in bed as i'm trying to fall asleep and i talk to God.
So often i'll get in my car and i will pray for a safe drive..
What if we really knew how to pray with all of our heart?
What if we were completely sincere about what we talked to God about?
One of my new goals is to start getting up early before class and talking to God and maybe doing some yoga.. i need to focus.. i need to get my priorities straight, and hopefully starting my day out with God and some relaxing will help with that:)
its worth the try anyway..

Love.. the last place she went was Bali where she met a guy who was really great to her, and she learned how to really love...

It made me think...
I have this guy in my life who is really great to me.
He loves me, he respects me, and he is my life.
I think i need to learn how to love the way God loves..
I need to learn to see people through God's eyes..
I need to learn listen the way God listens to us..
I think that if i could learn to love, see, and listen in those ways i would really learn to Love the way God intended me to.
It is so easy to judge a book by its cover, or to feel a hate for someone that doesn't respect and love you. But God does it every day for millions of people..
What an intense love that you could have respect for someone who disowns you 24/7, that you could love someone who killed your son, and that you could love someone who doesn't love you back.
I always tell myself, if someone loves me then i will love them.. but thats not how God intended it.. "We love him because he first loved us"..

So we give people our time[eat], we pray for them[pray], and we love them[love], not for ourselves, but in the hope that maybe one day they will care about us, pray for us, and love us the way we do them...

And in the end...maybe...just maybe.. by seeing how we live, they will come to have a relationship with the God we love a glorify.

So everyday, don't forget to:
Eat
Pray&
Love