..i walk with the Lord...
.......he is my love..........
.....my strength.......
......my life.......
....my best friend...


Friday, December 31, 2010

2011 Resolutions and Bucket List!!

So i have told myself that resolutions are never a good idea... because you almost NEVER end up keeping them, so why set them in the first place when they're just gonna make you feel pathetic for not completing them..
This year will be a new story
(yes, i tell myself this every year, but I'M SERIOUS!)
And as for the bucket list... maybe bucket isn't right, because i don't plan on kicking the bucket this year...
Yes i understand that what ever God's plan is will be the ultimate plan,
however i'm hoping and praying this won't be my bucket kicking year!!
hence the reason for my 2011 bucket list..
things i want to do before this year kicks the bucket=]
Here Goes:)
Bucket List:20 because.. well... I'M 20 YEARS OLD!!!
1)My year in pictures~ i plan on taking a picture EVERY day to document my year in pictures.. lots of people write journals right? well i'm going to do a scrap book!!

2)Run a HALF-MARATHON in the 808 state!! in otherwords.. basically kill myself by attempting to run a half marathon in HAWAII!! March 20th is the date:)

3)Run a HALF-MARTHON in COLORADO!! Last year i did the 5k.. and lets just say i felt a little pathetic when i saw 15 year olds running the half..soooo.. I'm signed up for the Colorado Half-Marathon in Fort Collins on May 1st.. super stoked:) breaking 2 hours is my goal..wish me luck!

4)Fundraise all $10,101 for Youth With a Mission DTS!! I know that with God's help i will fundraise money for YWAM, but i was told by a guy to not be satisfied with fundraising say $9000...i have to go ALL the way, and God wants me to do this, so he will help..so pray for me to be able to succeed in this=]

5)Be able to run a 7 minute mile by summer..i believe this is most definitly an acheivable goal.. i can already do a little under an 8.. so who knows maybe i'll even try to push myself more and get it down to a 6 1/2 minute mile.. we'll see!!!

6)3.8 GPA this next semester at CSU.. I've been told it is VERY hard to get that kind of a GPA there, especiall now that i will be in my major classes and out of GenEds, but if other people can do it, so can i..

7)Go to Australia..SO STOKED!!!!

8)Lead atleast 1 person to know God:)

9)Learn to KNOW GOD MORE.. and then not just know him, but live out his will in my life. it is so easy to talk the talk, but i HAVE to walk the walk.. so many people are such hypocrites about this part of their lives.. if you say you love God, then you have to love all other people too.. Matthew 25:35-40 "35‘For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; 36naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ 37“Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? 38‘And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? 39‘When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ 40“The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’"

10)I WILL lose my love handles and little bit of pudge..lol.. i've been working on this for a long time, but i NEVER really put my all into it, this shall be a new year.. haha.. SUCCESS is in the near future i think:)

11)Go to Red Rocks.. i've lived in CO my WHOLE life and never been there.. so hopefully this year that will change:)

12)Explore Colorado..i live in one of the most beautiful places on earth, but i never find time to really go and see all the beauty, so this year i want to EXPLORE!!

13)Cook 10 NEW recipes a month.. can be breakfast, lunch, or dinner... but 10 new, random [hopefully] yummy recipes:) MMMMMMMM:P

14)Climb 2 14'ers before i head off to Australia this summer...i've only climed 3 i think.. and i live around TONS of them.. time to change this!

15)Build a HUGE snowman on the intermural fields.. friggin SWEET!!

16)Summit Pikes Peak.. in all my life of living 45 minutes from there, I HAVE NEVER BEEN UP IT!!!! how CRAZY is that.. Pikes Peak or bust!! woot woot:)

17)Start my training to do the Hawaii Ironman 70.3... hopefully next year!!

18)Ride a Zip-line, either in Colorado, Hawaii, or Australia..SO FUN!! i've always wanted to ride a long one through the trees, so hopefully this will be the year!

19)Get a job for the next semester of school.. i could really stand to make some extra money, and i have an interview on the 7th.. so we'll see!! God willing, i'll have a job!!!

20)Go up to Vail/Breck and ride the lift thingy that goes up to the top of the mountains.. i think it would be beautiful..

and now my Resolutions...
This year i WILL try to keep all my New Years Resolutions:)
1.NOT BE SOO GOSH DARN UP TIGHT:) i really struggle with this.. i HATE being late, i hate making plans and then people changing them 20 times.. but this year i am going to try to just go with it, and not get so worked up over it:) GOSH its gonna be hard though..

2.Seek God in everything. i like to plan everything out, but i know that God's plan will ultimatly be what will happen.. so time to start listening!

3.Along with the last, really give all aspects of my life to God..once again, its hard to deal with not knowing what my future will look like, BUT, God is so awesome... i really have nothing to worry about:)

4.Eat healthier..i will do really good for a while, and then just start munching all sorts of junk, so its time to get serious if i want to be healthy, run fast, and lose weight!

5. Strengthen some of the relationships in my life...these people will be with me for life, so i really need to put more effort into them:)

6. Last of all, i want to be happier..i let the dumbest little things get me down.. i don't want to talk bad about people, i don't want to stress about class, or life, i don't want to worry about tomorrow... like the bible says, tomorrow has enough worries of its own.. i want to be content with NOW.. and not always be worrying about TOMORROW.. live in the now, because today will never come again.

So that is hopefully what my new year will be looking like.. a litte happier, a little more adventurous, and just all around exciting!!! SO STOKED to see what 2011 brings:)

Monday, December 27, 2010


So i am the type of person that LOVES to eat
Particularly good food and of course sweets
[thinking cookies, cake, pie, CHOCOLATE]
And so i didn't even think this was possible, but i have discovered, IT IS..

In the past week i have had..
Turkey Soup
More Meat
Lo Mein
Breakfast Egg and sausage Casserole
Granola Bars
10 different kinds of cookies
Icecream Pie
Chai Chai and more Chai
Hot Cocoa
Cheesy Potatoes
And i don't even know what else...
Not to mention it was multiple servings of all the above.. yes even chocolate
For christmas i got truffles, a 2 pound box of chocolates from my brother, more truffles, M&Ms, Chocolate Cookies, orange chocolate sticks, and yes hot cocoa.. just to name some of the chocolate..

I do believe that if i plan on running a 1/2 marathon in 3 months it is time to start getting serious and laying off some of this food.. or anyway all the sweets! lol..

Actually i need to lay off all the food for a little while, like i said, I've had a food overload, and my body is pretty mad at me right now..

I think i've eaten enough food to last an army 3 days..heehee..


A powerful L.O.V.E

God just never ceases to amaze...

I have some cousins that have lived in the same town as me our whole lives..
My cousin was my best friend for YEARS..
We played ball together, grew up together, graduated together,
And then she cut me off...
Her parents got divorced and she had it in her head that it was my families fault..
Her, along with all my cousins completely disowned us, i hadn't talked to them in over a year..
My best friend, and just like that, she wasn't in my life anymore.

But this Christmas something happened.
We had it all planned out that my aunt and her new husband [my cousins mom] and my cousins were all going to come out for Christmas dinner.. I WAS STOKED! i hadn't seen them in years..
But then they called and said they weren't coming..[we can all guess why not, they didn't want to be around my family because of rediculous false acusations]
I was so mad i started praying..
"God, really? How much more of this are you going to put us through? We used to be best friends and now they won't even acknowldedge us.. give us a break already! Please God, just soften their hearts to us?!"
I had been driving home when i prayed this....
As soon as i walked in the door, my aunt came up and said turns out, they were going to come out after all...
God??? Um, you're awesome?!?!!
But so then, i was like well great they're gonna come out and be all rude and grouchy because they don't want to be here...
"God thanks so much for bringing them, now please just help them to see us for who we are?"
They came, they stayed for a few hours, and they were some of the greatest hours we had spent together in YEARS...

On Christmas day, God heard my cry and answered my prayers..
What a great God i serve right?
He has begun healing a broken relationship and i'm so excited to see it pan out!!

And as my cousin was walking out the door, she suggested that next time we're both home for break, that maybe we should get together and get coffee:)

what a blessing:)
that just shows what some prayers, and a little love can do:)

THE Story

Well Christmas 2010 is over...and boy was it GREAT!


I guess for me there are about a billion things..
Christmas Trees
CHOCOLATE overload
ya know..the list goes on and on right?

Oh GOSH! i almost forgot CHRIST!
How pathetic of me!!
But wait...aren't those the things that come first on the majority of people's lists?
Sadly yes...
Walking around the mall, standing in line at a ski lift.. i have heard such sad things
People not knowing the real meaning of Christmas..
HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW??? I mean i could understand people questioning if Christmas really was when Jesus was born, or maybe not believing it, but not even knowing??? i didn't think that was possible in the US anyway..
The birth of Jesus was such a remarkable thing, and so many people don't even know the story..
the story of Mary, a virgin, getting pregnant..
The story of Mary and Joseph packing up and heading to Bethelehem...
The story of them not being able to find an inn, so Mary gave birth in a stall, with animals all around. Do you know how nasty barns are?? And she popped a baby out in one, but not just any baby, this was THE baby.
The story of the shepherds and angels and the star and the wisemen...

I just enjoyed a beautiful Christmas, and it is all because of my wonderful Lord that came down to earth on Christmas eve, to take away our sins, our pain, to feel our hurt..

My pastor said something interesting....
People now days spend their whole lives trying to communicate with extraterrestrial beings...
[we can talk to God]
They spend their whole lives trying to get them to come to earth so we can talk to them and have them talk to us...
[Jesus came down, as a baby, he grew up in our world, felt our pain, saved our friends, and what did we do for him? ....We killed him..]

This loving man came to earth to SAVE us....

.We Killed Him.

what a tragedy.

Another year..

Well I've got another year under my belt.. i am officially 20 years old!! WOW!
No more teenager...ever again:(
However, i must admit this was one gnarly year!
Left Concordia!! WOOTWOOT!
Worked my butt off this summer...
Went to tons of weddings..[wished one was mine, but now i'm accepting it]
Transferred to CSU--GO RAMS!!
Met some awesome girls..
and now i'm 20...
and in 361 days i'll be 21.. JEEPERS! lol
but overall, its been a fantastic 19th year of my life and i ended it kicking..
or skiing anyway:)

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

It is complete

I would like to start this by saying...

wow.. what a feeling. this semester has had ups and downs,
but more ups than downs..
I have learned so much.
not from school(i must admit)
but from life.

Things i've learned....

1. That frozen yogurt is the BOMB
2. That it is fun to go to college sports when there are 6000 other people there acting like freaks
3. College is AWESOME!!
4. You can make it all the way to december without turning the heat on in your apartment.
5. It is possible to make it to halloween without SNOW! WHO KNEW?
6. There really are great girls out there:)
7. I miss my piano:( and dog:(
8. Living on my own is actually pretty great! but not without the wonderful brittany;)
9. Those HUGE pool parties you see in movies... ya they really do happen..bahaha
10. Ramtalk and word finding puzzles are the only reason to go to some classes
11. You don't need to go to class half the time because the test is a spitting image of the study guide in the book
12. Some people ask the DUMBEST questions i've ever heard.."why don't we just launch all our crap into space? then we don't have to worry about where to store it." really?
13. Free stuff is what makes the college life turn around
14. Craming is dumb...
15. Freshman point their i-clickers at the screen..lol
16. I have become a pro at parking.. angle and parallel!
17. The gym is a much better place to study than anywhere else..no the library is not that great of a place to study
18. Going to Concordia was in a way a complete waste of a year.. but i met BRITTANY!
19. CSU's football team sucks, but its still fun to go to games!
20. There are alot of gay people in the world! yes i'm from a small town..haha
21. Don't put cafe mexicali leftovers in the oven.. THEY WILL CATCH ON FIRE!
22. Red lights will forever be the death of my patience.
23. Apparently a yellow arrow, and no arrow at all means 5 more cars can go
24. Getting dressed cute for class is overrated after the 1st month..(k yes i did know this last year.. but for some reason some people here just can't figure it out!)
25. I LOVE living close to my family! SO GREAT!
26. Colorado has a place in my heart that can't be replaced
27. Dressing in tights is actually comfortable, and kinda cute, but it takes getting used to
28. Brown bagging it is great.. i've bought lunch 1 time!
29. Shopping for groceries is kinda hard:(
30. Trying to sneak 12 people through the continental breakfast line isn't very easy
31. Hanging out with the fro-yo girls just brightens my day..110%
32. Listening to slow music when studying really helps!
33. Sometimes its best to not say ANYTHING at all
34. If there is time for facebook, there is always time for working out, seeing friends, cleaning your room/apartment, and studying
35. Don't let class and homework get in the way of college.. bahaha
36. Box seats in the Coors box at nuggets games are AWESOME to put it lightly
37. Love with a heart like Gods..or try anyway
38. Look at people through the eyes God looks at us with
39. Listen to people the way God listens to us
40. Read your bible EVERY day.. it makes your day a billion times better!!!
41. Blogging is a good way to get things out that you can't talk about
42. There are alot of people in the world that need to see God's love
43. If we can reach college kids with the Love of Christ, we can reach the WHOLE world...
44. 12 PM is NOT late
45. Candles smell awesome, and are fun to take pictures of
46. Take 30 minutes to go take a picture of something that inspires you. your day will instantly pick up:)
47. Relationships aren't always easy, but alot of them are completely worth the small struggle here and there
48. Going home for break means...you do dishes, chores, clean house, and cook just like you did in high school.. some things NEVER change
49. I have an amazing, loving, caring family and I LOVE THEM ( i already knew this, but it has been reenforced)
50. By the time we get everything figured out that is wrong with me they would have to have 2 episodes of House based on my medical history!!
51. The people that live above me get it on about 5 times a week..and don't stop when i hit the ceiling with a beanie baby:( same with the people that live beside me:( jeepers
52. Textbooks are a waste of your money 1/2 of the time!!!
54. I have been blessed with a beautiful, loving, strong roommate=] and i LOVE HER!
55. Sweatpants and slippers are my #1 choice of clothing 99% of the time
56. Calculus isn't that hard, but it is a waste of time!
57. I WILL NEVER EVER take another political science class.. that STINK!
58. Giving multiple speeches for speech class doesn't improve your speaking habits very much..
59. Computer science was one of the easiest A's ever.. and the biggest waste of my time!
60. State universities are actually really great!! PROUD TO BE A CSU RAM!
61. Chicken soup really does help make you better:)
62. Accomplishing something that you didn't think was possible is AWESOME!
63. I have the most handsome, real, loving boyfriend on earth..
64. Patience is a JOKE.. anyway in my vocabulary it is.. psh patience.. a virtue??
65. Forever 21 is great! cheap and cute:)
66. God made this world simply for our enjoyment.. we better start appreciating it!
67. Being a hair model isn't always bad! sometimes you can get a cute haircut for cheap!
68. Flobots concerts are pretty crazy..
69. God puts people in your life for a reason.. try to figure out why
70. Outpost has forever changed my life
71. I can't survive without my nalgene.. it goes everywhere with me
72. Making your own dinners is such a hassle sometimes!
73. Keeping your apartment clean, particularly the bathroom and kitchen is such a drag!
74. Not having a dryer vent makes drying clothes a whole new experience
75. My roommate makes awesome christmas wreathes!!
76. Notehall is actually a pretty great way to make some money..Hello $20!
77. Typing notes is so much easier than writing them!
78. You can only forget your ID 4 times to get into the rec center
79. We have the 5th nicest college rec center in the nation!
80. CU is full of dirty hippies.. just sayin
81. Hand sanitizer is SO cool! and smells good:)
82. When i say i'm going to bed at 12... it usually means 1:30 AM...or in this case even later..teehee
83. I can clean my bedroom 3 times a day and its still covered in clothes and books when i go to bed that night
84. Finals week is great cuz you get all sorts of goodie bags with food in them.. particularly Ramen.. anybody need ramen?
85. Bikers will be the death of themselves if they don't watch out for my car!
86. If you left your Student ID in your car and you need it for your next class which is optional.. just skip the class. by the time you get to your car and back you will have missed 3/4 of the class
87. Walking across campus is what is keeping me skinny
88. Taking a final that consists of 150 questions will make you be COMPLETELY brain dead afterwards..
89. They let too many kids into classes, because not everyone fit in the room for one of the finals.. oops!
90. Niquil is a great way to help fall asleep fast.. yes i took it because i was sick.. and ONLY because of that:)
91. I am beautiful in God's eyes and that is all that matters!
92. God made us PERFECT in his eyes.. who are we to question that?
94. Romans 11: No matter how far we fall, God still loves us and takes us under his wing. He forgives us and saves us.!! WHAT GREAT NEWS!
95. Romans 14:8 "If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord."
96. If i want something i have to put my WHOLE HEART into it, not just part..
97. Apple Cider and Chai are my FAVORITE!
98. Photoshoots with Britt are SO FUN!
99. Coming up with 100 things i've learned isn't that hard.. WOW

and last but not least

100. The final thing i really learned alot about this semester was God's plan for my life. I have always been the type of person that likes to know exactly what i'm going to be doing ever moment of every day, and God has showed me whats up... It isn't up to me.. in Matthew 6:34 it says not to worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.. and this is so true.. God has planned our whole life out before we were even born! There is no point it trying to figure out what God's plan is for me because just as i think i have it all figured out, he up and throws a curve ball in! It isn't my place to tell God how i'm going to live my life, he will tell me, and this semester i have learned to really trust that God has a reason for everything.. All the crazy stuff that happens is just a small part of his HUGE plan for my life. So from this semester on, i won't plan.. i'll let God do the planning.. thats how its going to happen anyway, so why waste my time?

God bless, and i hope you all have learning experiences like i did this semester.. because they truely are such eye openers! I can't even imagine how the next semesters, days, months, and years of my life will be!! YAY God for being in control:)

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Love that hurts

You know that feeling when you love someone so much it hurts?
Well thats how i feel right now.
Sometimes when you love someone, but something is bothering you and you just can't figure out what it is, it hurts .
I love this guy.. but right now it hurts.
I can't put my finger on it, i can't tell you why.
We're so close all the time, but sometimes it feels like we are so far apart.

why is it so hard to give him up,
this doesn't sound like something i should be struggling with after 4 years..
but i am.
I struggle with sharing him,
i struggle with being jealous,
i struggle with the fear of losing him.

I pray about this constantly but i feel like i never get an answer.
I pray for patience,
i pray for love like God's love,
but sometimes its hard, ya know?

but i'll keep waiting..
waiting for the day when we can live our lives together,
waiting for the day we can travel the world,
waiting for the day he'll be all mine..

and untill then, it may hurt, but real love hurts sometimes.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

December 8, 2010

Do you ever have one of those days that you just can't help but smile?
Everything just makes you SO friggin happy!
You just feel this happiness and nobody can make you mad.
You feel like you don't have a fear in the world.
You feel great.
You look great.
You sing to random songs you hear..
You cook yummy food.
You don't mind waking up.
You don't mind sitting in class and listening to people asking dumb questions.
You don't mind sitting in rush hour traffic.
You don't mind standing in line.
Nobody can push your buttons.
Even the clouds don't make your day feel blue.

Well today is not one of those days for me....finals are getting to me:(
YAY for finals goodie bags though:)

Saturday, December 4, 2010


Today i was having kind of a long day..
[couldn't find a reason to be happy]

Then Brittany showed up with a Peppermint Mocha and 2 movies:)
She just knows how to make my me happy<3
The movies she showed up with were Eat Pray Love and Twilight..
So we popped in Eat Pray Love..
Not really sure what to expect, this movie made my heart light.

Eat...the first place she goes is to Italy where she learns to eat w/o worry..

This movie made me really kind of think about stuff..
How often we crave icecream or pizza or soda and say no because we are worried about a jean size.
What is a jean size?
I can wear jeans from one place and they are an 8, or another place they are a 4..
We so often try to make ourselves be someone that people will look at and say "wow i wish i was that person, they are so skinny and pretty." But really, are we happy trying to be perfect to someone else. Why not be perfect for God?
I will now eat what i want.. (in moderation)and be HAPPY!!!

Pray....the next place she went was India where she learned to pray and move on..

So often i lay in bed as i'm trying to fall asleep and i talk to God.
So often i'll get in my car and i will pray for a safe drive..
What if we really knew how to pray with all of our heart?
What if we were completely sincere about what we talked to God about?
One of my new goals is to start getting up early before class and talking to God and maybe doing some yoga.. i need to focus.. i need to get my priorities straight, and hopefully starting my day out with God and some relaxing will help with that:)
its worth the try anyway..

Love.. the last place she went was Bali where she met a guy who was really great to her, and she learned how to really love...

It made me think...
I have this guy in my life who is really great to me.
He loves me, he respects me, and he is my life.
I think i need to learn how to love the way God loves..
I need to learn to see people through God's eyes..
I need to learn listen the way God listens to us..
I think that if i could learn to love, see, and listen in those ways i would really learn to Love the way God intended me to.
It is so easy to judge a book by its cover, or to feel a hate for someone that doesn't respect and love you. But God does it every day for millions of people..
What an intense love that you could have respect for someone who disowns you 24/7, that you could love someone who killed your son, and that you could love someone who doesn't love you back.
I always tell myself, if someone loves me then i will love them.. but thats not how God intended it.. "We love him because he first loved us"..

So we give people our time[eat], we pray for them[pray], and we love them[love], not for ourselves, but in the hope that maybe one day they will care about us, pray for us, and love us the way we do them...

And in the end...maybe...just maybe.. by seeing how we live, they will come to have a relationship with the God we love a glorify.

So everyday, don't forget to:

Monday, November 29, 2010

The Day The World Ends

I'm not going to sit here and tell you guys the world is ending in 2012.
I think that is all a bunch of crazy talk..
Obviously people are not reading their bibles, or they would know that NOBODY knows when the world will end. Only God does and i'm pretty sure he hasn't been calling up people on earth on the phone and informing them that in 2012 everything will cease to exist.
That just isn't how God does things.

Tonight in my devotion i read 2 Peter 2:1-10, but two verses that really stuck out were 8 and 9...

"But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance."

I don't know about you, but i get the impression from this that God is kinda waiting to come back till more people know god, ALOT more.

At the rate we are all going with sharing the word of God with the people of this world, it could be billions of years before God comes back.
Of course i will be in heaven before then, but i hate to see all the children that will grow up not knowing God..
I hate to see all the people that will live their lives without the chance to experience this amazing LOVE i experience everyday.
Not just people in Africa or China, but even our own friends. I have so many friends that do not know the God i know. Yes, maybe they have heard him mentioned, but i'm sure if you asked them about christians, one of the first things that comes to mind is JESUS FREAK.
Now don't get me wrong. Being a jesus freak is AWESOME! i would proudly say that i am in fact a Jesus Freak...i freaking LOVE my God, my Faith, the life i live through them. But if we are going to reach out to our peers, or other countries, we must understand what kind of a life they are leading. We must learn how to get across to them. And if we ever want Jesus to come back...

Well lets just say WE BETTER GET ON IT!! People say we are running out of time to tell people about God.. but we aren't running out of time because Jesus is coming back, we're running out of time because all those people we need to be reaching are running out of years on this earth.. and it breaks my heart to think they may not ever experience our God...

So join me.
Help me share God's love and forgiveness..
No matter who you are with, where you are at, or how awkward you might feel.
Everybody that doesn't know God is searching for something more whether they know it or not...

Why not help them find God?
He provides the ultimate life, love, friends and faith that i believe EVERYBODY is searching for.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Being grateful in an ungrateful world

i'm going to start out this blog by saying that i think i have gotten past my blogging block.. i couldn't get myself to blog for some strange reason but now i have all these things on my mind to talk about!! so deal with it:)

So tonight i went and played basketball with my man..[gosh he's a stud=]
After basketball we went to his house.. the little stinker poured water on me!
ok actually i guess i poured water on myself, but its because he filled my glass of water up to the VERY top!
Now at the moment i was pretty upset..i mean what the heck with making me pour water all over myself?!?!
Of course i didn't thank him for getting me H2O cuz most of it ended up in my lap, on my keys and on the couch.. but w/e...

So after i left his apartment i had the radio on, and on it they were talking about being ungrateful..
We live in a world where people take everything for granted.
Take the computer screen you are looking at right now for example..
Did you wake up this morning, turn your computer on, and take a second to say, "God, thank you for this computer!"
Did you thank him for helping you to wake up?
Do you know how many people won't ever wake up after tonight?
I not only wake up, but i can drive to school, go to class, eat 3 meals a day, run in the afternoon, watch TV at night, and do it all over again the next day.
People have gotten so used to having what they need, they are no longer grateful.
Try going to a 3rd world country and see what they wake up to every morning, and what they do with their days.. and tell me your life is rough!
[what a fitting topic right? with Thanksgiving having just happend.lol]

SO. this all brings me back to my original story about Jason being the little stinker he is...


I should have been grateful that he is here to bring me the water to spill on myself.
Jason almost died a few years ago...
He got in a car accident and almost didn't come out alive, but our prayers were answered.
So many people have lost someone that is important to them.. i have lost many of them.
But i'm not sad that they aren't here..
I'm happy that i have memories with them!
I'm thankful for time well spent..
And tonight i am NOW thankful for the extra time God has given me with Jason.
I'm thankful that i was able to sit in a warm apartment today [even if it is small]
I'm thankful that i can type on this computer [even if it freezes all the time]
I'm thankful for my family [even if we don't always see eye to eye]
I'm thankful for love [even if it hurts sometimes]
I'm thankful for life [even if i do have to see the Dr. here and there]
I'm thankful for my faith [even if people do mock me because of it]

On the radio they were talking about a group of widows they had been talking from the September 11 terrorist attacks..
One of the ladies said..[this breaks my heart]
"I wish i still had my husband to leave the toilet seat up all the time."
I am guilty of giving jason a hard time about this... i think i need to start thanking God for giving me a guy like Jason to leave it up:)

So tomorrow, when i wake up, i will thank God for my heart beat, for my hearing, for my sight, for my legs, my shower, my car, probably even my homework.. because all these things are signs of how blessed i am EVERYDAY.

Friday, November 26, 2010

.:a tradition:.

Thursday, 11.25.2010, was Thanksgiving..just incase some of you forgot..

We have a tradition:
Back when the pilgrims first came to America, they didn't have very much food so they lived on 5 kernals of corn a day..in memory of this hard time in their life, and to help us realize how grateful we should be....

We stand in a circle with all of our friends and family that are around for Thanksgiving and we each get 5 kernals of corn...then we go around the circle and each say 3 things we are grateful for (5 takes a little to long when you have 20+ people over)

This Thanksgiving i had something very special to be thankful for...
My dad and his brother haven't gotten along since before i was born.
Because of stupid misunderstandings, they never talked,
They hated each other because of things about my dad that my uncle had gotten the impression of when they were still young.
Things that were completely unrealistic..
Because of these things,
We didn't talk to my uncle or his family(hardly)..
And they didn't talk to us.

However this year something changed.
My uncle and grandpa had gotten into a fight a few months ago..
My dad intervened because it was getting out of control..
Accusations that were just out of this world were being flung around between my uncle and grandpa, all because grandpa is old and slowly losing his memory..
Finally it all came out between my uncle and my dad..
And to their astonishment..the things that had been haunting their relationship for their whole lives were completely false!
All the impressions my uncle had of my dad.. that we were ripping of my grandpa and had gotten our land because grandpa didn't know the difference etc..CRAZY STUFF!!!

After hours of talking, they got EVERYTHING worked out..
This is a miracle.
I have three cousins that i haven't spent more than 10 minutes with because of this family grudge..
This Thanksgiving i was given one of the greatest blessings of all..
I spent all of thanksgiving with my Uncle, his wife, and 2 of my 3 cousins.

So this thanksgiving God blessed me.
As we went around the table saying what we were thankful for,
it started with my dad..
Dad: Family, Freedom, and being there with all of us.
Me: ALL of the family that was there, freedom, and Faith
Alissa: Family, Freedom, Beautiful place to live
Matt: Family, Friends, Food :P
[then it came to my little cousin: Jacob]
I want you to understand something. My cousin Jacob turned 5 in October..He shouldn't have been 5 till January.
Jacob was born 3 1/2 months early. He died a few times..has been on air his whole life till this year.. couldn't go out in public for fear of getting sick and dying.. as it came to Jacob, he didn't hesitate.. nobody had to explain what we were doing...
Jacob: "I'm thankful for all of us being here together." [a beautiful blessing and miracle]
Then it was Luke's turn.. Luke is 8 years old..but a very smart little guy..
Luke: "i'm thankful for family, food, and for Jacob being here because he died 2 times and he is still here and is not on a breathing machine" [WOW!! what an amazing LOVE]
Uncle Joe: Jacob not being on a breathing machine
Kak: Not having to worry about Jacob getting sick from us, and all of us being together as a family...
Mom:...well lets just say she went over her limit of 3...but i know she said family and freedom:)

So this year.. even though my brother-in-law wasn't here.. i had so much to be grateful for at thanksgiving dinner..

I have been blessed with a beautiful family and i finally got to know all of them a little bit better..God is amazing.. and he works in crazy ways:)

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Muchas Gracias..

1. Spell Check....yes yes i know.. this is a strange thing to be thankful for, however can anybody tell me they aren't grateful for it? i mean seriously you can spell anything wrong and it will help you correct it so you don't look like a bum infront of your professor. now yes, it is incorrect sometimes but hey.. atleast most of the time you can count on this little computer program to help you out in a tight spot:)
2. Music.....listening to music, playing music, thinking music, singing. what an amazing form of art. i got home for thanksgiving break, and one of the first things i did was went in and sat down to play my piano..wow i missed that thing.. it is such a great way to relax, whether you are playing or listening to it on your ipod or computer.. not to mention it keeps you company on long drives! yes.. i do believe music is one of God's greatest gifts to us..
3. Pictures...pictures are worth a thousand words...some pictures honestly make me speechless.. God has given us this beautiful world to live in with beautiful little things about it, so why not take pictures of all those things to help us remember them.. and photography, just like music to me is an amazing way to relax and really enjoy every second of the life God has blessed us with:)
4. To be able to run...this one is very important to me. I look around and i see people who have been told they will never walk again..this is a horrible tragedy i think. Running is like an addiction to me.. i live to run. when i have had an amazing day.. i go run and just think about life.. when i have a horrible day i go run and think about it all...you can get out so much stress, and afterwards you feel amazing.. (and it helps me focus on my studying;]) just a side note.. haha..thank you God for legs, muscles, and a healthy body so i can run anywhere i want, when i want!
5. Vitamins...these last few years i have really had a hard time with my stomach for some reason.. it always hurts and it has even at times kept me from running. I've gone to Dr.s and they don't know what is wrong.. however, i have found these awesome vitamins that make my stomach not hurt, just enough so i can actually live my life and not have to suffer through the random stomach spasms.. thank you Father for vitamins, and the people that made them.. SO GRATEFUL!
6. Animals...and last of all..my animals are super important to me.. the main 2 being my dog Aspen and my horse Tuffy.. yes i know some crazy random names but hey.. aspen is very fitting if you would ever meet my dog:) she is a yellow lab, very loving, sweet, and if she was allowed to, she would live on my lap and she would never leave:) i have raised her since she was a little puppy (we own her mom too) and wowzers do i LOVE that dog...and tuffy.. well i didn't name him, we got him and he was already named but hey.. he's a big tuff horse so w/e i guess it works:) he's a beautiful paint horse and he has always been one of the greatest horses we have ever owned.. so ya, very thankful for all my pets!

as you can see, there are so many things to be thankful for, and i wish we would remember to be thankful for these things year round, and not just around the end of November.. God has blessed us in SO many ways and i wish we could all see it...even random little things like spell check.. God had to give someone the tallent to come up with a random idea like that right?!? so this week.. try to think of all the things in your life you have to be thankful for:)

Friday, November 19, 2010

thankful for warmth...

3 more things i'm super grateful for...

1. Warmth: Right now i'm sitting in my apartment and let me tell you.. it is not warm! Mybe that is why all the things i'm blogging about being grateful in this blog are warm.. who knows.. but anyway, i love being warm. i would rather be hot anyday of the week than cold.. and i am so thankful for blankets, sweaters, sweat pants and anything warm:)
[thankful for heat]

2. Sunshine: The sun is one of the most beautiful things ever.. There is something about the color, light, and warmth that it produces that just makes life so much more beautiful! The feeling you get after it shines on your face for a few minutes is enough to brighten your day! There is a reason vitamin D is so important....
[thankful for sunny days]

3. Hot Drinks: And now the thing that i am most thankful for at this very moment would be hot drinks.. the last few days i have pretty much been living on Hot Cider..Chai...and Hot Cocoa...how good is a hot drink on a cold day when you have a sore throat.. SO AMAZING!
[thankful for CHAI!]

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Thanks God:)

Sooo I kinda slacked off yesterday.. not sure why, i guess i just forgot to blog about things i'm grateful for.. but here goes...

1. Freedom: I, along with everybody else that lives in America, i think should be extremely grateful for freedom. Supporting our troops is something that we all need to do. If they weren't fighting for our freedom we wouldn't be able to say what we want...pray to whoever we want..work where we want...i'm pretty sure they deserve our respect to say the least...
[thankful for freedom]

2. Beautiful Place to Live: I have been so blessed with 2 of the most beautiful places on earth to live. Colorado and Hawaii..The best of both worlds.. let me tell you. Huge mountains with snow half of the year and beautiful green pastures the other half. And waves crashing up on the dark black lava sand beach.. i could not ask for more:)
[thankful for a beautiful world]

3. Friends: I know some of the most beautiful girls, and awesome guys. God has blessed me with some people that love and fear God..he has given me people that love me for who i am, give me a hug when i need one, and listen when i need someone to talk to.
[thanful for guys and gals]

4. Holidays: Thank God for holidays...right now i am in desprate need of a break from school and lucky for me...THANKSGIVING is right around the corner=] however, my favorite holiday is Christmas.. not only for a very obvious reason that i have a whole month off of break, but also that it is my birthday..and to top it all off. it is Jesus' birthday.
[thankful for no school and parties]

5. Weekends: A weekend, kind of like a holiday is a pleasant break from school and the craziness of the week...you get 2 days to be exact, and on those days you can do almost anything your heart desires assuming you have cleaned the house and done your homework and studying..one of my favorite things to do on weekends is sports and sleep in..
[thankful for a small break]

6. Sleep: And that leads me to my final thing i'm grateful for.. for now anyway...SLEEP!! Ya know when you are sitting in class or at work and you just feel like you can't keep your eyes open no matter how much coffee you have? well thats why we were made to sleep. you go home, eat, shower and crawl into bed.. and if is a (weekend) you can even sleep in.. while sleeping you drool..dream...and don't have to worry about anything..
[thankful for peaceful slumber]

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

I Am Grateful For...

Because i have so many things to be grateful for i'm going to tell you about 3 every day till thanksgiving:)

1. God

I will start out by telling you that i am grateful for the opportunity to love a God that loves me back. I am so thankful that i have a God that forgives me, gives me strength, gives me love... and quite simply, gives me a reason to live. The feeling i get when i think of how amazing this God is like something that nobody else could ever experience accept with MY God. If the whole world worshiped and loved my God the way i do..well this would be a very different world.

2. Family

Wow.. there is so much i could say about my family..I have the most beautiful, loving, strong family on earth..
Provides for our family no matter what
loves all of us
is strong
most awesome dad on earth:)
Srong in her faith
sooo sooo caring
most loving mom on earth
Awesome at riding horses
one and only sister
(but really a brother;))
greatest [big] brother i could ever ask for
Awesome snowboarder and wakeboarder
GREATEST little brother on earth
3. Jason

This is the guy i just can't get enough of. I am so grateful to have such a faithful, loving boyfriend and best friend. This is the guy i plan on spending the rest of my life with and i can not wait to see what God has in store for us.. untill then, i am thankful for this man i have been blessed with.

stress...nuff said (almost)

Its been a long week...

its only tuesday...
This has been an amazingly awesome, yet crazy semester. i transfered schools and there are so many awesome things about CSU it would take me hours to come up with them all... but CSU has decided they are going to make it hard for me to get the classes i need this next semester... i can't actually declare my major till january 8th, which is 10 days before the next semster starts...and i can't register for 4 out of 5 of my classes untill i have declared my major.. do you all see where this is going? basically i'm gonna have a heck of a time getting into all the classes i need.. so that is stuff i've been dealing with..

i am burnt out on class.. classes are such a drag. i wish i could just show up for tests and get 100% but sadly, it isn't that easy.. i actually have to go to class and listen to dumb people ask stupid questions that could easily be answered by going back to their rooms and looking it up on GOOGLE!! There is a reason that these two awesome guys came up with google and are now billionaires.. its because it has all the answers to those stupid questions that people have..

and to top this week off... I'M SICK!! YES..

so the light in this darkness??

next week is thanksgiving break and i can not wait.. i get to go home. see my family. eat turkey and hundreds of other different types of awesome food. and not have to stress about my finals..

Saturday, November 13, 2010

There is this boy..

So there's this boy..
He is SUPER cute
he is respectful
he is loving
he is strong
he is delicate
he is tall
he is athletic
he is a [freak]
he has an awesome voice
he is a God fearing man

he makes me heart skip beats
he makes me feel butterflies when i see him
he makes me feel like a princess
he likes me;)
he pushes me to be all i can be
he holds my hand
he likes to snuggle
he loves little kid movies
he is a hard worker
he is smart
he makes me feel like i am the only girl in the world that matters to him
he talks to be about everything
he seeks Gods advice

This boy.. is not like any other boy you have ever met or will ever meet. he is the type of guy who brings everything into our relatioship i would want him to. This boy has loved me with the most amazing heart for the last 4 years. he has loved me through my struggles and comforted me when nobody else really cared. i can't see my life without him and i am so grateful God has placed him in my life..

I thank God every day for



"I believe always always
our savior never fails...
Even when all hope is gone,
God knows our pain
and his promise remains
he will be with you always..."

I witnessed a miracle the other day..
i know, most people say blatantly obvious miracles only happened in the bible.
Not true.

Jason and I are working on getting everything ready to hopefully be attending YWAM Waves DTS in Australia in July 2011. However, to do this we have to come up with around $20,000 between the two of us.
This is alot of money.
Jason is already paying for himself to go to school, and you don't have to be a rocket scientist to know that that is expensive and it is hard to make money and go to school. But he is doing just that.

The other day all within about 3 hours he found out that he needed to buy:
A new rim for his far: $130
A new tire(for the rim): $100
He figured out his car had alot of problems
and it would be cheaper to just sell it
and get a new one: $4000 ish (he can sell his car though for about $3000)
Fix a part on his roommates jeep: $300
All these problems totaling around $1230
this is a serious amount of money especially when also trying to save up for YWAM..

I just have to say.. we serve an amazing God and when he sees that we are really willing to drop everything and follow and love Him then...this A.W.E.S.O.M.E God WILL provide..

after having these issues Jason decided to get his online bank account and see what the damage was going to be..but as soon as he got on, he saw that that day $650 from Colorado State University had been put in his bank account. Confused because he had already gotten all his grant money, Jason gave them a call.. To his amazement, he had qualified for another academic grant, and was going to receive $1300 over the course of these 2 semesters...$1300 that he had not budgeted in at all...

and here is the kicker... a few days earlier he had been talking with a few of his friends about how he knew God would provide for YWAM, but he wasn't just going to drop $1000 into jason's bank account...and bam...2 days later!!!


i think the lyrics that are at the top of this are so perfect for understanding God and his love for us.

We will always go through times of struggle, but if we put our faith and love in God, he will never fail us! Our savior NEVER fails. Jason and i were so stressed out that he wasn't going to be able to come up with the money..we had lost almost all hope, but our savior never fails. God can see that we are having a hard time, and he will always, always reach his hand down and give us the strength we need.

-Building 429

Monday, November 8, 2010

A Blessing..

Over the past few years i have had my highs and my lows..
There are days i don't want to do anything but PRAISE God...
There are days i don't want to do anything because i can't understand why God would put struggles in my life like he has..
But i have been so blessed in these last few months at Colorado State University..
This isn't my typical deep post.. but i feel i need to mention some people that have changed my life in ways it is hard for me to explain.

First of all, my love and my relationship with an amazing guy in my life has been SUCH a blessing. I have found the love of a handsome, God fearing man. A love that i know will last forever. He is the guy that every girl searches for. He shows me the love, respect, passion, strength that i know i would struggle without. He is my bestfriend that i know i can tell everything to. He loves me even when i don't do things that necessarily make him happy..and i am so excited to see what God has in store for this amazing guy and I.

I have also been blessed by a BEAUTIFUL girl whose heart for God is amazing. She has struggled through things in her past and things now, but through it all i can not help but see how much she searches for Gods purpose in it all...her passion for her form of art is amazing, and i just pray that i will have a passion for something like that the way she does and be able to actually use it the way she does, not only to please other people, but also to please God. In my eyes this girl is beautiful inside and out and she knows exactly how to brighen up someones day=]

The last group of people i feel i MUST mention that have changed my life in a huge way is FRO-YO! This group of girls, who are really like a bunch of sisters have changed my life in ways they will NEVER understand.Every single one of them have such a unique, beautiful way of loving God, and showing their faith to the world..i have never met a stronger more LOVING, more accepting group of God fearing girls in my life. I can not wait to see what Gods plan is for all of us. I thank God every day for blessing me with all of these BEAUTIFUL girls.

see what i mean??? BLESSED BEYOND MEASURE!!! God is so amazing at putting people in your life that will change your life in so many ways.. what an amazing God we serve:)

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Who is your hero?

Is your hero the most awesome person in the world?
Do you long to be like your hero?
How would you treat your hero if he came to visit you?
You'd probably get him anything and everything he wanted + some right?
You would make sure he was completely comfortable...
Then you would treat him like a king right?

My Hero has a little bit of a different story..
When he first appeared in this world people were already trying to kill him.. since the day he was born he was hated by many...
He never did a single thing wrong..
He saved people.
He healed people.
He loved EVERYONE.
He forgave people.
He let himself be whipped.
He let thorns be shoved into his head.
He let people spit on him.
He let people curse at him.
He let people mock him.
He carried his own cross untill he couldn't anymore.
He let people nail HUGE nails into his hands and feet.
And then He let those same people stab him in the side with a spear.
All this he did without asking for anything in return or fighting back..
And then... MY FAVORITE.. this is something that your Hero,[super or not]won't ever be able to do....after he was dead and burried...HE CAME BACK TO LIFE!! He rose from the dead. Tell me any other person living and notliving.. any other super hero that could ever rise from the dead.

People did not treat my Hero the way they would treat any other hero that came to visit.
My Hero has holes in his hands.
My Hero has a scar in his side.
My Hero is waiting for me to come running to him looking for help.
My Hero will help no matter how big or small the problem may be.
My Hero is the only one that deserved to be treated like a king.
My Hero is the one that people still hate even though he is gone.
But my Hero is also the only one that can still save you even though he isn't on earth.

Now tell me that your hero is better than mine. I dare you.

Monday, November 1, 2010

25 things I am looking forward to...

50 things I can not wait for....
1.[the return of christ]
2.[to be done with this semester]
4.[Fall/Thanksgiving Break (18)]
5.[to share my testimony]
6.[to change someones life]
7.[to be married]
8.[to have kids]
9.[to be with my Father in heaven]
10.[the first snow]
13.[to see god's plan for me]
14.[to wake up tomorrow]
15.[to get a puppy]
16.[to be done with this Policy Speech]
17.[go skydiving]
18.[blog tomorrow]
19.[owning my own home]
20.[planning my wedding]
21.[traveling to...europe..AUSTRALIA...africa]
23.[being my goal weight]
24.[running the 1/2 marathon in may]
25.[graduating college]

oh gosh. so many things to look forward to! life is so awesome, and is going to be so awesome!! YAY FOR THE FUTURE!

Sunday, October 31, 2010

100 things i LOVE

100 things i l.o.v.e.
.falling in love.
.beautiful sunsets.
.pink sunrises.
.passion fruit.
.the feeling of having all my homework done.
.long walks on the beach.
.talking to my Heavenly Father.
.picking shapes out of clouds.
.the number 3.
.getting dressed up.
.bible study.
.long talks.
.the bible.
.new things.
.seasons on TV.
.heavy blankets.
.pillow fights.
.cheez its.
.new years.
.family reunions.
.cotton candy.
.inside jokes.

.......wow.. i'm pretty sure i could have come up with 200+ things i LOVE..i am so blessed by all things...

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Who do you walk with?

We are all walking through this thing we call life. Some of us have chosen the straigt, wide, easy path while others of us have chosen the curvy, narrow path. We are all given the choice of which one to follow, and it is completely up to us. Not our parents, not our friends….US. so which one will you chose? I’ll tell you that the wide one will be easy…it will be full of partying, doing what ever you want, and it will be full of everything BUT LOVE. Now if you chose the narrow one.. well it won’t be as easy. People will make fun of you, they will be mean to you BUT it will be full of SO MUCH LOVE you won’t know what to do. Now yes I understand that that doesn’t make sense because if everybody is hating you how can it be full of love? It is called the love of our heavenly father. This crazy, awesome man that we have NEVER seen but only believe in because of unwaivering faith, loves us more than anybody on earth ever has.

Could you imagine loving someone so much that if they asked you to give up the one thing you truly love and couldn’t imagine giving up, you would? God did this for us. I would imagine that he loved his son more than life itself, but he had his son tortured and murdered so that we could see how much he loves us. UNREAL!! Right? But God wants our love too…this is not a one way relationship. God expects us to drop everything and follow him with our whole heart. How hard is this? An example is the story of Abraham and Isaac. Abraham is 100 years old and still hasn’t had a son, but finally God blesses him and Sarah with a boy. What an awesome God right? But then a few years later god tells Abraham to show that he really fears God, he has to go burn his son as a sacrifice to God. WHAT????? NO WAY! Anyway that would probably be my reaction.. but not Abraham. He calls his son and they go to fullfil God’s request. What in the heck is he thinking? But once God sees how much Abraham really loves and fears him, he provides a ram for him to sacrifice in place of his son Isaac.

I believe that we all struggle with giving up EVERYTHING. I know if God called me to give my family up to him to prove that I love him, I had have serious issues with following him. But even smaller things, like giving up issues with relationships, giving up our struggle with body image, our love for music, our love for partying, our love for money..he wants us to give these things up for him and to really experience his love. Why is this so hard for us?

Lately I have really been trying to take this story of Abraham and Isaac to heart. I want to give up everything to really experience God’s love, but it isn’t easy. However, I do believe that God is a grateful man, and I do believe that he loves me and knows that I am trying for him…I want to walk with him even if it means giving my whole world to follow him….

…..I walk with the Lord…..

Sunday, October 10, 2010


Hi anybody who might be reading this... soo my boyfriend Jason and I are planning on doing YWAM DTS which is Youth With a Mission Discipleship Training School. We will spend 3 months in Australia learning about God, learning how to share our faith, and growing deeper with God. Then we will spend 2 months in either Indonesia, SE China, or maybe Australia sharing the word of God. This is a very exciting new step, but it is very expensive. So if you feel like God is putting it on your heart to help us out, we would appreciate that. Or even just prayers are GREAT too! Love you all. God Bless

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Silly Goobers

Silly random moments....

Britt- What what are you taking?
Cari- My drugs
Britt- Your love is my drug
Cari- OOOO Good thing we're on the bottom floor:)

Cari- LOOK THAT KID IS SOOO PURPLE!! He's wearing ALL purple!
Britt- haha funny
Cari- OH MY GOSH!! The door was open! he totally just heard what i said!! HAHA

Sunday, September 5, 2010

{hard times}

I don't understand why I’m still running
When I know there’s no escaping

Come undone, surrender is stronger
I don’t need to be the hero tonight
We all want love we all want honor
Nobody wants to pay the asking price

Fall on my knees, fall on my pride
I’m tripping over all the times I’ve lied
I’m asking please, but I can see in your eyes
You don’t need tears for alibis
It’s true what they say
Love must be blind
It’s why You’re still standing by this sinner’s side

You’re still by my side when all the things I’ve done have left you bleeding

Since moving up here to Fort Collins…
I have seen SO much effort [in the church]
I have seen so much partying [in alot of college kids]
I have seen so much love [in my relationships]
I have seen so much patience [in professors]
I have seen so much missing [in the freshman]]
I have seen so much HURT [in EVERYONE]
All of those are great, normal, and stuff that we see everyday.. but the one that really puts an ache in my heart is the last one.. everywhere I turn I see people turning to drugs, gossip, drinking, cutting, eating, and just beating themselves up because what I believe is a real hurt in their heart. This is soo hard for me to watch because all during my life I have been SO blessed I have never had to turn to those to make my problems (go away). I feel so much that I should be doing something to help them all but I get the feeling that so many people don’t want to get over their hurt. So many people think that if they continue on the path they are on they will get attention. I just wish they could realize the only person they need attention from is our lord and savior.. He is so good to [everyone] no matter what it is in their life.
I so want people to just realize there is a {>GOD<} out there that loves them no matter what the problem is. Why do we all feel like we have to please everyone around us? The only person we really need to please is our lord.. And if we don’t please him.. GET THIS.. HE STILL LOVES US!! He doesn’t turn around and talk about us behind our backs or tell us we are ugly or do anything to make us feel bad… if anything he sends a person into our life to help us learn how to love ourselves. Soo look around you.. is there someone god has put in your life that you don’t realize it now but is actually there to help you? To LOVE you? To show :GOD’S LOVE TO YOU:? Keep looking.. I think you will be amazed at how much the man behind the scenes really does..

This song has really been speeking volumes to me.. it says in here that “surrender is stronger and we don’t need to be the hero tonight” listen to what this song is saying!! WE DON’T HAVE TO BE THE HERO.. WE DON’T HAVE TO BE PERFECT!! That is why we have god..yes.. we are supposed to strive to be perfect like him.. but we will never reach that perfection.. that is why we have God.. to LOVE us anyway..we aren’t supposed to try to be perfect for anyone but GOD. And to him we are perfect just the way we are.. broken.. hurting..and I need of him.. there is nothing god wants more than for us to NEED him..


A New Beginning

Is 'new' always the best thing? I am going to a NEW school..[CSU] I am making NEW friends...I live in a NEW place [an apartment] i am experiencing a whole NEW life..but is this the best part about being in a new place...

maybe i'm enjoying being with my *OLD* lover..[Jason] maybe i'm enjoying being in my OLD home..[Colorful COLORADO] maybe i'm loving getting to know an "OLD" friend better..

NEW is one of the greatest things to ever experience but there are just some OLD things i can never let go of..

Wednesday, July 7, 2010


So i've been home from school for awhile now... it is crazy how much i missed colorado, and it is even more crazy that i'm going to CSU this next semester.. the last 2 months have gone by so fast and i feel like i've had no life. all i ever do anymore is work work work.. ugh...lol..but i have had a few chances in my crazy life to take some pictures of home and here they are..

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Amazing Grace

so today i went out for a bike ride with my camera and as i was looking at God's beautiful creation and all i could think about was the song Amazing Grace.....

Amazing GRACE how sweet the sound

that saved a wretch like me

i once was lost but now am found

was blind but now i see...

Through many dangers, toils, and snares

i have already come

Tis GRACE that brought me safe thus far

and GRACE will lead me home

This song just makes me want to cry... God's grace is so amazing that he would forgive us and pull us through the good times and bad. like this song says i really once was lost and i thought that there was no point to life but then i found God and i came to realize that He is soo soo good us. WHAT AN AMAZING GOD! Not to mention the perfect love that he has shown us..UNCONDITIONAL....UNFAILING....UNENDING.... Here are two pictures i took today that i really feel like show a part of God's beautiful creation. Not only did he save us, but he also gave us such a beautiful world to live in untill he calls us home to heaven. If earth is this beautiful i can't even imagine what heaven will look like=) Thank God every day for his GRACE because we truely have been blessed with a loving, forgiving, caring Father in Heaven

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Home for Easter

What a fantastic weekend..Home..it felt like i had no worries in the world.. I woke up on friday and went shopping..went home and had amazing food and spent time with my beautiful family and friends..woke up saturday..went to town..went to bishops castle..had a party..woke up sunday..went to church.. had an easter egg hunt..yummy food and a relaxing time..woke up monday.. drove ALL day back to nebraska...

When i was home it was like i had never left. that brings me to the question.. WHY IN THE HECK DID I LEAVE?!!?!? i live in the most beautiful place on earth with some of the most amazing people God has ever created.. so why did i leave? because i wanted to be away from my family? wow that was dumb.. turns out i really didn't i just thought i did. because i wanted to be independent? haha thats a joke... turns out i'm going to school at a day care.. gah... 1 MONTH. i am literally counting down the days till i can go home and never have to come back here.

When i was home for easter i realized just how important my family really is to me. I have a beautiful mother who loves me and the rest of my family like you have never seen.. an amazing sister and brother inlaw who are both so inlove with each other and love all of us.. and a brother who may annoy the CRAP out of me but i LOVE him anyway. Isn't it amazing how much God has blessed me yet i still find reasons to complain? and the above doesn't even include my dad who wasn't able to be there because he was busy working in hawaii for my family.. WOW!!! i really need to stop complaining! time to pick up my head and deal with this next month....school, friends, boyfriend and all...

This is Who I Am

I am from John and Jeanene, Bill and Dorthy, Dick and JoEllen.

From the Wet Mountains of Colorado to the crashing waves of Hawaii to the flat plains of Nebraska.

From cold, snowy winters to flowing volcanoes to crashing waves, and now currently corn as far as the eye can see.

I’m from the country and the city, and even the beach.

Hunters, ranchers, farmers, and fisherman. Friends, sisters, brothers and baseball players.

When you can’t get out in the snow then stay in and play games, there is no thanksgiving without family, turkey, and cinnamon rolls, back to back state baseball champs, and a community of friendship.

I’m from “What’s the magic word?” and “Are we there yet?” and “Don’t look a gifted horse in the mouth.” And of course “love your neighbor as yourself.”

I’m from builders, artists, air force pilots, musicians, scholars, and life-lovers.

I’m from love, happiness, laughter, friendship, and faith seekers.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Screw it all

so yesterday i was totally having a "screw it all" day... i woke up late, almost missed breakfast..went to class... it sucked all we did was take notes and i got a "B" on my test...went to my next class.. had to do a mock interview..which would have been fine but aparently the job i was applying for was some jobe at UNL.. UNIVERSITY OF NEBRASKA LINCOLN.. SCREW THAT!! freaking big red.. really? anyway and then... this is where i really got pissed.. went to my next class and the work i have to do for a 1 credit class. really? Workout journals..food diaries...freaking hard quizes..paragraphys about my physical activity over break.. "Hmmm so i layed on the beach! how is that for frickin physical activity.." i mean really? that professor needs to get a life besides our 1 credit lifetime wellness class...next i come back to my room and have to argue with people i'm giving a ride to the airport about what time i'm leaving for the airport.. i'm pretty sure it is my car and i'm driving so i will leave WHEN EVER I WANT!!! ugh.. and then ofcourse since i'm in nebraska the weather SUCKED...gah the crap i deal with.. so ya basically i was in the whole mind set of.. spring break is here and so screw nebraska and concordia and school.. seriously all the people around here need to get a life.....................................................

but then my whole life picked up all of a sudden.. i pulled on my running shoes and went outside (into the freezing cold weather) and just ran.. ahhhh what a stress relief let me tell you:) so working out really helped but then me and britt made dinner and sheesh it was like i totally forgot all the crap of the day.. we enjoyed some amazing REAL FOOD (not nasty janzow crap) and ate an icecream pie that had 460 calaries in 1/6th of the pie.. WE ATE THE WHOLE THING!!! YUMMMM haha.. sometimes you just have to not worry about that kind of stuff. what is life without a little extra ice cream pie=) haha.. and then we pretty much just sat around for like 2 hours and enjoyed the company.. gosh it is so great to have people that actually like care about what your saying and pay attention to you and are there because they care about you and because they truely enjoy being with you... there are so many FAKE people and i HATE it.. why be fake? do you really want people to like for who you are or who you wish you were? i mean what is the point.. sooner or later your real side is going to come out and you really want people to see that after they already have this memory of you being fun and nice and polite??? FAKE PEOPLE GROW UP!!

ok so ya i pretty much had to vent about how gay some people are...:) i'm all done now.. so basically be real.... don't live in NEBRASKA...don't go to school at CONCORDIA UNIVERSITY...and make friends that love you for who you are because they are the ones that will really matter in the end :)

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

A Valentines Day Prayer

A Valentines Day Prayer

Cari Lynn

Amazing Woman

She loves with all her heart

How was i blessed this richly God

I will not understand, but will be grateful

She is everything i have ever dreamed of

How do i make her feel beautiful today

God, grant me strength for my love

Because i am weak without you

My heart overflows with her

Be my rock, my comfort

Because as I need you

She also needs me

In Jeasus' name,

Be with her

Hold her


This is what Jason gave me or valentines day, a poem written by him. I have been so blessed to have such an amazing, God fearing man put in my life. I think every day about how much God has given me and i just can't seem to get my head wrapped around the fact that i was this richly blessed. I will take jason though without any complaints. He is the exact person i want to spend the rest of my life with and i am so happy i didn't have to do awhole lot of searching. HOW LUCKY AM I??? :) XOXOXO

Rejoice in your Suffering

"We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disapoint us, because God has poured out is love into our hears by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." - Romans 5:3-5

When i'm going through a hard time it is so easy for me to blame it on everybody or everything instead of actually dealing with it. When i read this verse it makes me rethink complaining. Here it says to be grateful for the hard times we go through because it teaches us perseverance and character and hope. I have days that nothing seems right, i have long, boring classes or i don't get along with people but now i realize that God is simply puting those speed bumps in my life to make me slow down and realize who i am. The other day i got in a fight with a girl over something that was completely pointless and afterwards she was just plain rude to me. I on the other hand picked my head up said "screw you" and went on with my day. It was a sunny day and i wasn't going to let some stupid argument with someone stupid person ruin my day. I see now that i was developing character. That's who i am. i don't let stupid small stuff get to my head because in the big picture it has no meaning. Next i see that hope comes in because i can only hope that people will see how i handle situations like that and realize that being the bigger man/women is the way to be. next time someone is pushing your buttons don't be afraid to be who you are because God made you just that way.