Dear Friday, you were a much needed day.. and now you're already over, but you were the beautiful start to a fabulous weekend! i have no doubt this weekend will be great:)
This week has been RIDICULOUS! to put it nicely.lol.. but i keep putting my faith in God, and he isn't letting me down.. of course he isn't:)
1. GET THIS.. I RAN 4 miles today!! BAM! ok walk/ran.. lol. took 45 minutes, so ya know.. pretty slow, but that is a HUGE step up from the past few weeks.lol. woohoo! AND.. i feel awesome right now:)
2. How far will you go for God? Will you go to a hurting world and share his word? Will you go to a country where christians are still killed every day, and spread his love? Will you play it safe? Or will you take the jump and jump into his arms and trust him to guide your paths? I have taken the jump, but i still struggle with the trust part. Sometimes its so hard to give God your all, when you don't trust his plan for your life. Sometimes its so hard for me to understand where God is leading me. I've spent my whole life "playing it safe" not taking risks if it means the possibility of pain.
I want to change that, i want to jump off a roof with fake wings attached to my back and trust God to catch me. I want to jump out of this plane of similarity, this area of my life that feels comfortable and constant, and explore a life of unknown, a life of adventure, a life of trusting God 110%. I'm tired of playing it safe because that is what is easy. I want the craziness of the only thing known is that God is love and God is faithful and God is strong.. other than that what every God throws at me any random day i'll do.. I want to launch into that crazy beautiful life that only comes through knowing and trusting God completely.
I want to leave everything else that i've ever known behind... i don't want $$$ to be a deciding factor in what i do. I don't want uncertainty to be a deciding factor.. i just want to live life on the edge! If you read through the bible, you always come across verses telling you the kind of life you can live, if you are living with God. THAT IS WHAT I WANT! I want faith like moses or noah...i want faith like David, to face all of the giants in my life: Relationships, Body Image, Money, Trust. I want to be able to trust in God to help me overcome any areas of my life that are giants in my mind. I want faith like rashack, meshack, and abendigo, to stand up for my faith no matter what is being thrown at me.... I always ask myself if i were in class, and some crazy man came in with a gun telling anybody that was a Christian to stand up and he would kill them, what would i do.. but i think i can honestly say that i would stand up and be PROUD of the life i live, i would be proud of my God. God kept those 3 men from burning furnace. If it wasn't my time to go, God would save me from that gun man...
I have been reading over my YWAM forms and it talks about what would happen if i were to die on the trip. Some people i know were a little upset after reading that, i guess it hadn't really come to mind that we will be doing outreach in places that our faith isn't welcome. There is a possibility that we could be killed.. however, i have prayed about it, and i sincerely feel that WE ARE DOING GOD'S WORK!! If we are meant to die, then so be it.. WE'LL BE IN HEAVEN! but i really believe that God will keep us safe...
I just want to live the life i read about, i want the feeling of knowing that God is always there. I want to not have a worry in the world, because my life is all in God's hands.. i want to pray without ceasing... i want to LIVE!
[i know, pretty deep, but these things have been weighing on my mind.]
3. God blessed me with a beautiful sunset, and a yummy meal:)